What can be learned from the movies

Author unknown

• Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people - whether they are employed or not.
• At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
• Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
• Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.
• It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one
• When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
• If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission by the age of 22.
• Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
• Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
• All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
• All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
• It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
• Once applied, lipstick will never rub off-even while scuba diving.
• You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
• Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do.
• The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
• A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
• If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
• If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
• Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.
• Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
• All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
• A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
• If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.
• Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
• When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.