Wacky things you can do to keep the office environment on its toes

Author Unknown

ONE-POINT OFFICE DARES

· Run one lap around the office at top speed.

· Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

· Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

· To signal the end  of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and cringe.

· When  someone hands you a piece of paper, point to it, and whisper huskily,  "Mmmmmmm,  that feels soooooo good!".

· Leave your zipper open for one hour. If  anyone points it out, say "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".

· Walk sideways to the photocopier.

· While riding in an elevator, gasp  dramatically every time the doors open

THREE-POINT OFFICE DARES

· Say  to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled  fingers.

· Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that,  I don't want to have to repeat it".

· Page yourself over the  intercom (do not disguise your voice).

· Kneel in front of the water  cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player within  sight)

· Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE  POINT OFFICE DARES

· At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would  be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

· Walk into a very busy person's  office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch  on/off 10 times.

· For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as  "Bob".

· Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go  do a number two".

· After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad  Jamaican accent. As in "The report's on your desk, Mon". Keep this up for one  hour.

· While an office mate is out, move their chair into the  elevator.

· In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead  repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!".

· At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my witness, I'll  never go hungry again".

· In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See  how I look in tights".(Extra  points if it is a male, even more if he is your  boss)

· Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?".

· Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same  person: "Do you  hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

· Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".

· Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

· Speak with an  accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.

· Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

· Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act  genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

· Present meeting  attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smashing each biscuit with your  fist.

· During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

· Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

And if that wasn't enough for you, try this…

How to keep a  healthy level of insanity:

· At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with  sunglasses on and point a hair  dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

· Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have  to let one of you go."

· Every time someone asks you to do  something, ask if they want fries with  that.

· Put your rubbish bin on  your desk and label it IN."

· Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3  weeks. Once everyone has gotten over  his or her caffeine addictions, switch to  espresso.

· Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the  prophecy."

· Dont use any punctuation

· Use, too...much;  punctuation!

· As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

· Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

· Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

· Sing along at the  opera.

· Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

· Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

· Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't  attend their party because you're not in the mood.

· Have your  co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

· When the  money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"

· When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, “run  for your lives, they're loose!"