Wacky things you can do to keep the office environment on its toes

Author Unknown




·        Run one lap around the office at top speed.

·        Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

·        Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

·        To signal the end  of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and cringe.

·        When  someone hands you a piece of paper, point to it, and whisper huskily,  "Mmmmmmm,  that feels soooooo good!".

·        Leave your zipper open for one hour. If  anyone points it out, say "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".

·        Walk sideways to the photocopier.

·        While riding in an elevator, gasp  dramatically every time the doors open



·        Say  to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled  fingers.

·        Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all  that,  I don't want to have to repeat it".

·        Page yourself over the  intercom (do not disguise your voice).

·        Kneel in front of the water  cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player within  sight)

·        Shout random numbers while someone is counting.



·        At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would  be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

·        Walk into a very busy person's  office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch  on/off 10 times.

·        For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as  "Bob".

·        Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go  do a number two".

·        After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad  Jamaican accent. As in "The report's on your desk, Mon". Keep this up for one  hour.

·        While an office mate is out, move their chair into the  elevator.

·        In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead  repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!".

·        At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my witness, I'll  never go hungry again".

·        In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See  how I look in  tights".(Extra  points if it is a male, even more if he is your  boss)

·        Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?".

·        Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same  person: "Do you  hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

·        Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk  about it".

·        Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

·        Speak with an  accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.

·        Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

·        Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act  genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

·        Present meeting  attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smashing each biscuit with your  fist.

·        During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

·        Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.


And if that wasn't enough for you, try this…


How to keep a  healthy level of insanity:


·        At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with  sunglasses on and point a hair  dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

·        Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have  to let one of you go."

·        Every time someone asks you to do  something, ask if they want fries with  that.

·        Put your rubbish bin on  your desk and label it IN."

·        Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3  weeks. Once everyone has gotten over  his or her caffeine addictions, switch to  espresso.

·        Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the  prophecy."

·        Dont use any punctuation

·        Use, too...much;  punctuation!

·        As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

·        Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

·        Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

·        Sing along at the  opera.

·        Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

·        Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

·        Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't  attend their party because you're not in the mood.

·        Have your  co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

·        When the  money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"

·        When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, “run  for your lives, they're loose!"