ONE-POINT OFFICE DARES
· Run
one lap around the office at top speed.
· Ignore
the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
· Phone
someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and
say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now.
Bye."
· To
signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over
your ears and cringe.
· When
someone hands you a piece of paper, point to it, and
whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo
good!".
· Leave
your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out,
say "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
· Walk
sideways to the photocopier.
· While
riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the
doors open
THREE-POINT OFFICE DARES
· Say
to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot
him with double-barrelled fingers.
· Babble
incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get
all that, I don't want to have to repeat
it".
· Page
yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your
voice).
· Kneel
in front of the water cooler and drink directly from
the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player within sight)
· Shout
random numbers while someone is counting.
FIVE POINT OFFICE DARES
· At
the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would
be nice to conclude with the singing of the national
anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it
yourself).
· Walk
into a very busy person's office and while they watch
you with growing irritation, turn the light switch
on/off 10 times.
· For
an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".
· Announce
to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go
do a number two".
· After
every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican
accent. As in "The report's on your desk, Mon".
Keep this up for one hour.
· While
an office mate is out, move their chair into the
elevator.
· In
a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead
repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of
you just shut up!".
· At
lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God
as my witness, I'll never go hungry again".
· In
a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I
look in tights".(Extra points if it is a
male, even more if he is your boss)
· Carry
your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna
trade?".
· Repeat
the following conversation 10 times to the same person:
"Do you hear that?" "What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now".
· Come
to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I
can't talk about it".
· Posing
as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a
lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
· Speak
with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during
a very important conference call.
· Find
the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
· Hang
a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your
pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points
it out.
· Present
meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit,
smashing each biscuit with your fist.
· During
the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair
towards the door.
· Arrange
toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee,
move them according to the movements of their real-life
counterparts.
And if that wasn't enough for you, try
this…
How to keep a healthy level of
insanity:
· At
lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on
and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they
slow down.
· Tell
your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are
going to have to let one of you go."
· Every
time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want
fries with that.
· Put
your rubbish bin on your desk and label it IN."
· Put
decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone
has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch
to espresso.
· Finish
all your sentences with "In accordance with the
prophecy."
· Dont
use any punctuation
· Use,
too...much; punctuation!
· As
often as possible, skip rather than walk.
· Ask
people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they
answer.
· Specify
that your drive-through order is "to go."
· Sing
along at the opera.
· Go
to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
· Put
mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle
sounds all day.
· Five
days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend
their party because you're not in the mood.
· Have
your co-workers address you by your wrestling name,
Rock Hard.
· When
the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I
Won! 3rd time this week!!!"
· When
leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot
yelling, “run for your lives, they're loose!"